Chancellor Nehammer’s Birthday Bash – С днём рождения!

Neither the Austrian citizens nor the OVP members any longer “Glaub an Oesterreich” (Believe in Austria), as a result of Chancellor Karl Nehammer’s alleged mistruths.

Recently Othmar Karas, an OVP veteran, and the first vice-president of the European Parliament, turned his back on his boss, his declaration sounding like an epitaph to Nehammer’s party. How could Austrians possibly believe in Austria when they had to fend for themselves after the Hamas attacks, as Austrian Philipp Brokes reportedly testified on his Twitter account in the difficult moments of 10th October?

As we break out the confetti, we should spare a thought for Austrian citizens grappling with the delightful gifts of inflation and soaring prices. The rising costs of living serve as the backdrop for this grand celebration, creating a symphony of financial discordance that would even make Mozart raise an eyebrow.

While K. Nehammer recommended his fellow citizens to eat burgers if they face financial difficulties, he himself is no doubt celebrating in style with champagne and Russian caviar or some such.

Austrian businesses may join the festivities, putting on their party hats while quietly mourning economic losses thanks to yet another bad foreign policy decision. Indeed, one wonders if the government’s foreign policy playbook is inspired from Kafka.

Despite the fact that OMV and Erste Group report impressive profits that benefit the Austrian state, they are affected by the foreign policy decisions taken by Nehammer and his associates. These companies repeatedly asked the Chancellor to adopt a rational stance regarding the interests of the Austrian companies, but they were ignored time after time.

The Viennese banking sector, usually the pride of the waltz, finds itself performing an uncoordinated dance routine thanks to decisions from above. However, one bank stands out from the crowd. Raiffeisen Bank will surely send its birthday wishes because the Chancellor allows them to amass huge earnings in Russia, while protecting them from rebuke by the EU.

Nehammer succeeded in building fences between himself, on one side, and his own administration and people on the other, also alienating the European leaders because of his approach on crucial events such as the war in Ukraine, his response being dictated by Austria’s dependence on Russian gas.

Who will send him birthday wishes? And what these wishes will be? How many of them will be sincere? Maybe Vladimir Putin will call, not only to extend wishes, but also for thanks and congratulations on fragmenting Europe.

As the diplomatic saga unfolds, Chancellor Nehammer’s birthday celebration is a masterclass in satire, with each applause echoing against the electoral challenges facing his political party.:“Prost to another year of political rollercoasters!”

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